}

My final hope for a smokin’ hot body!

_g1.setAttribute('srcset', _g1.getAttribute('data-srcset')); My wife called today and said the dishwasher was leaking…I came home with tampons. 43. "That's the good news?" I think it’s the reminder of your own mortality that makes you more eager to accept the levity of a good joke. And Reddit. Don’t talk about things like that over dinner,” the dad replies. My son, who’s into astronomy, asked me how stars die. I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though. Enter your email address to get the best tips and advice. 17.

One man’s trash is another Man’s treasure? Tell him to clap.” The kid replies: “but mom, I’m blind!”Mom: “Exactly”. Q: When does a joke become a dad joke? I think it’s the reminder of your own mortality that makes you more eager to accept the levity of a good joke. Plus, you’re constantly making new friends. 28. The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin. And amo. Patient: Doctor, I’m starting to forget things. Then I made tacos because they don’t live in a swing state. 44. There used to be two of them and now it’s a sensitive subject. I was going to tell a dead baby joke. 66. ", I hate double standards. That awkward moment when you thought the guy was a pretty good magician, and only then realize he simply suffers from leprosy. I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today.

Learn more about Thought Catalog and our writers on our about page. _g1 = document.getElementById('g1-logo-inverted-img'); On occasion, we also use cookies to collect information from our toddlers, but that’s a totally different thing. 9. Ideas for the top 101 dark humor jokes were taken from the following sources.1)Short Funny – The Best of Black Humor / Dark Jokes jQuery("#footnote_plugin_tooltip_7678_1").tooltip({ tip: "#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_7678_1", tipClass: "footnote_tooltip", effect: "fade", fadeOutSpeed: 100, predelay: 400, position: "top right", relative: true, offset: [10, 10] });2)College Humor – 10 Dark Jokes That Are Not For the Faint of Heart jQuery("#footnote_plugin_tooltip_7678_2").tooltip({ tip: "#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_7678_2", tipClass: "footnote_tooltip", effect: "fade", fadeOutSpeed: 100, predelay: 400, position: "top right", relative: true, offset: [10, 10] });3)Worst Jokes Ever – Morbid Jokes jQuery("#footnote_plugin_tooltip_7678_3").tooltip({ tip: "#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_7678_3", tipClass: "footnote_tooltip", effect: "fade", fadeOutSpeed: 100, predelay: 400, position: "top right", relative: true, offset: [10, 10] });4)Runt of the Web – 69 Dark Jokes So Bleak You’ll Need A Flashlight To Read Them jQuery("#footnote_plugin_tooltip_7678_4").tooltip({ tip: "#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_7678_4", tipClass: "footnote_tooltip", effect: "fade", fadeOutSpeed: 100, predelay: 400, position: "top right", relative: true, offset: [10, 10] });5)indy 100 – 6 jokes only people with a dark sense of humour will find funny jQuery("#footnote_plugin_tooltip_7678_5").tooltip({ tip: "#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_7678_5", tipClass: "footnote_tooltip", effect: "fade", fadeOutSpeed: 100, predelay: 400, position: "top right", relative: true, offset: [10, 10] });6)Funny World Market jQuery("#footnote_plugin_tooltip_7678_6").tooltip({ tip: "#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_7678_6", tipClass: "footnote_tooltip", effect: "fade", fadeOutSpeed: 100, predelay: 400, position: "top right", relative: true, offset: [10, 10] }); Short Funny – The Best of Black Humor / Dark Jokes, College Humor – 10 Dark Jokes That Are Not For the Faint of Heart, Runt of the Web – 69 Dark Jokes So Bleak You’ll Need A Flashlight To Read Them, indy 100 – 6 jokes only people with a dark sense of humour will find funny, Prev: Top 100 Most Spoken Language in the World, Top 10 Weirdest Things Done by Millionaires, 10 of the Most Important Political Documents, The Top 10 Hypoallergenic Dogs for Your Family.

"What's the bad news?" “You da bomb!” “No, you da bomb!” In America – a compliment. Why is the USA bad at chess? I bought my blind friend a cheese grater. The bartender shakes his head. 70. Help me – I cannot feel my legs!” Doctor: “Don’t panic, that’s perfectly normal. 6.

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